When I was around 10 years old an Al Jaffe book called “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” came into my possession. 30 years later and some of the responses still dance at the edge of my tongue – but they seldom if ever break loose into earshot range.
“Are you growing a mustache?”, “No I’m growing a lip brow.”, or “No, that’s my pet caterpillar, thank you.” Al Jaffe was a genius.
I’ve since often thought he should do a follow up called “Snappy responses to unnecessary statements.” I say unnecessary things all the time, like “I’m going to go to the bathroom.” So what? Who cares if I go to the bathroom right then, right? So why did I have the compulsion to announce it like the queen of England was arriving? They’d probably be just as happy with “I’ll be right back”, or saying nothing at all.
Though if anyone responded with “Have fun!”, or “Keep us posted!”, or “Good luck!” I’d have to at least break a smile and remember that awesome book.